Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
