i don't like sucking hair
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
