Swine flu. Run for my life!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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