Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your cock deserves a montage
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
