I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
