question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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