around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
