your thong is hanging out like whoa
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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