He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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