i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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