why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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