Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am

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(847): View more from Illinois

Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa

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(314): View more from Missouri

I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.

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