It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.