Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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(248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now http://tfl.nu/naz7

Replies (3) Good night (3070) Bad night (730)
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(631): View more from New York

Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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(631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81

Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (512)
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(956): View more from Texas

I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

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(956): I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward http://tfl.nu/ltxx

Replies (187) Good night (5460) Bad night (1301)
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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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(440): she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2. http://tfl.nu/9o14

Replies (140) Good night (845) Bad night (5909)
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(+82): View more from South Korea

You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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(+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw

Replies (7) Good night (5437) Bad night (1121)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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(505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4

Replies (11) Good night (859) Bad night (2700)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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(609): Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/sxhu

Replies (10) Good night (2368) Bad night (901)
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(716): View more from New York

Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet

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(716): Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet http://tfl.nu/obun

Replies (25) Good night (2753) Bad night (1115)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.

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(514): Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance. http://tfl.nu/bud1

Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (553)
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(315): View more from New York

she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot

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(315): she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot http://tfl.nu/7zmw

Replies (7) Good night (2269) Bad night (510)
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(972): View more from Texas

Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT

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(972): Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT http://tfl.nu/8ret

Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (372)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

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(574): I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/b0a5

Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (270)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.

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(908): I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country. http://tfl.nu/dr7f

Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (204)
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(331): View more from Illinois

Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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(331): Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws! http://tfl.nu/1f2r

Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (198)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

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(605): No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives. http://tfl.nu/8dyn

Replies (2) Good night (287) Bad night (566)

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