Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  8:17pm: So, How was fun day?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success

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  (845) 8:17pm: So, How was fun day? (201) 1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success http://tfl.nu/xkzo
  Replies (11) Good night (1755) Bad night (594)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

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  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (5463)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1142) Bad night (5578)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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  (917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89
  Replies (17) Good night (7313) Bad night (1068)
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  (818): View more from California

  Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob

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  (818): Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob http://tfl.nu/xjl4
  Replies (24) Good night (4821) Bad night (1192)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

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  (952): On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it http://tfl.nu/wltj
  Replies (6) Good night (2842) Bad night (1045)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja

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  (512): we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja http://tfl.nu/0h0h
  Replies (9) Good night (5326) Bad night (1008)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.

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  (619): Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word. http://tfl.nu/n6a7
  Replies (11) Good night (3357) Bad night (695)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.

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  (404): He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday. http://tfl.nu/mk6n
  Replies (14) Good night (1720) Bad night (806)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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  (307): Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids. http://tfl.nu/60tn
  Replies (15) Good night (3308) Bad night (783)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

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  (941): I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting http://tfl.nu/c2bq
  Replies (5) Good night (1267) Bad night (752)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

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  (302): How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel? http://tfl.nu/4qia
  Replies (11) Good night (709) Bad night (1463)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.

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  (250): we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time. http://tfl.nu/w6xu
  Replies (7) Good night (1623) Bad night (668)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (418)
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  (287): View more from

  It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.

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  (287): It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab. http://tfl.nu/s9lc
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (150)

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