Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  brad dismisses pussy with prejudice

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  (248): brad dismisses pussy with prejudice http://tfl.nu/6yt6
  Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (1126)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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  (256): As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right. http://tfl.nu/ax5o
  Replies (6) Good night (4865) Bad night (591)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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  (631): there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be. http://tfl.nu/ag4a
  Replies (12) Good night (4283) Bad night (1684)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

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  (309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished. http://tfl.nu/wbty
  Replies (19) Good night (7151) Bad night (1473)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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  (512): Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky. http://tfl.nu/on0b
  Replies (17) Good night (5625) Bad night (1453)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It'll be just me and my penis against the world.

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  (314): It'll be just me and my penis against the world. http://tfl.nu/ph7y
  Replies (18) Good night (3519) Bad night (863)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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  (918): I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog http://tfl.nu/wm03
  Replies (5) Good night (1297) Bad night (2285)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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  (214): Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis http://tfl.nu/ji20
  Replies (4) Good night (1468) Bad night (832)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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  (662): She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/ji5s
  Replies (8) Good night (2883) Bad night (604)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (540)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.

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  (314): I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use. http://tfl.nu/hohz
  Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (669)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1037) Bad night (422)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.

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  (206): As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light. http://tfl.nu/6mx3
  Replies (10) Good night (2500) Bad night (311)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (453) Bad night (238)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Your word choices worry me.

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  (520): Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants? (614): Your word choices worry me. http://tfl.nu/ader
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (261)

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