Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.