dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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