There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
