they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
