whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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