I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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