hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize