i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
