Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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