No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
