Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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