there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
