she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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