lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize