She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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