Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
