what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
