I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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