Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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