mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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