Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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