Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
