So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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