He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
