last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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