Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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