Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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