I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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