I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize