Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
