going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
