i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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