How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
