She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
