Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
