I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize