Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
