Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
