oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You took a bar mat shot.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
