Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
