I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
