we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
