So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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