Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
