i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
