I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
