Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
