I will die if light touches me.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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