He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
