Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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