I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize