Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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