I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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